Here we go again, Audrey.

I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice

We saw each other for the last time yesterday. You told me you still love me, that you’re sorry for everything. This two months you say, its a time for us to reflect on our relationship, to give it another chance. We had so much in us. But why, why did you decide to take it all away from me. 

Now the nights are lonely, the mornings are cruel. I end up waking up from dreams that i can’t trust. Eveything i see around me somehow reminds me of you. Of what my life was like when we were us. It was the only life i knew.. the only life i really wanted.

It bugs me how you could have done what you did to me. All those lies after lies. How you lied to me without batting an eyelid. When? When did it all begin? A month ago, couple months ago?! When i was away on a business trip? Am i such a fool, so blinded by what i thought was love. Wasn’t i able to see all the tell tale signs? 

The annoyance in your voice when you spoke to me. How short fuse you’ve become. The constant message that came flooding onto your phone (the phone you refuse to allow me to touch). The late nights that you stay at work, waiting, waiting for her to be off.  The constant meet-up with the guys which i now know ain’t them you’re meeting. The early nights you took, are lies to cover your tracks when you were with her. How naively was i to believe that you were really tired. Instead, you were off lying at the grass patch whispering sweet nothings to her. And please don’t get me started on the dinners you cancelled on me just to spend a little more time with your new lover. 

So why, why do you even bother quarreling with me? Why do you bother pretending you cared? To pretend to be angry when i didn’t hold your hands? Why do you bother when you have a new pair of hands to hold. All along when you’re with me, your heart was no where to be found. Those lies you said and empty promises, why do i even bother buying into them? Why did i even bother holding them so dear, like little treasures. 

Three years babe. Three years of ups and down. The many challenges we’ve conquered together. Don’t they ever mean anything to you? I guess not, for you to throw it all down for a girl you only met for less than 3 months. It pretty much sums it all.

Do you even feel this pain you have caused? All this while, I’ve been lying in bed with the living monster. A person I no longer recognize. Where’s the guy i fell in love with? Now, all i see is a cold blooded animal, thirsting for every bone in me to be broken. 

Have i always been the game you played with? 

Oh whats more, it not only her, there’s another. I’m coming to know all the secrets you hold. 

It’s time to let all go. I deserve so much better. You cheat.

Keep her glass full of cheap champagne
She will tell of a man with no name
Smoke and mirrors have done her in
She’s in love and she won’t be again

Oh did she let him go,
Or did the four winds blow him away?
Oh does she even know